Sam Garner – Creative Writing: Monologue from Of Mice and Men
GEORGE: I killed him, he trusted me, and I killed, all because of a misunderstanding and the hatred of a small unhappy man. I ain’t no villain cause I killed Lennie out’a mercy, like a farmer putting down a old horse or is that just my way of justifying it. I spose that saying ‘you gotta be cruel to be kind’ applies here, I tried to make Lennie’s end as happy, swift and painless as possible. I hadda do it, I know I hadda, I had no choice, there was no way it would have ended with Lennie gettin off alright. God I wish there was another way, but this here Curley forced my hand, if I didn’t do it then Lennie would have been strung up like a over sized fish like they had in the markets back in weed. How then can I be a villain if I saved a friend from a horrid end? Curley’s a mean man picking fights just to prove he’s big, but he’s nothing but a fool who wants to be big. Curely made the net that caught us all. Forced me to kill my best friend, forced Lennie to crush his hand and forced his tart of a wife to hang around us ranch men. Boy, I was sure glad Slim was there after and gave me the excuse to leave that place. He’s wise beyond his age and doesn’t deserve the life he is forced to live. Candy, was alright I spose he tried to look after me and Lennie and give us a heads up without Candy I would have suffered the same fate as Lennie, as the guys would have thought I had something to do with it like the did back in weed. Candy kinda saved my life and for what its worth, I’m extremely grateful he did. I just wish I had never let Lennie out’a my sight’ maybe I coulda avoided this but I wasn’t careful enough.
It’s my fault Lennie’s dead cause I shoulda tried harder, I failed Lennie’s Aunt Clare, and she trusted me with Lennie and I failed her. I really don’t know what I gonna do now, lookin after Lennie was my purpose and gave me company.
God I miss that big loveable guy, life ain’t gonna be the same without him for a start it’s gonna be a hell of a lot lonelier. Maybe I’ll move on too much pain here or maybe I should stay here and roll up a stake to buy that farm me and Lennie were always talkin ’bout to honour Lennie and keep his memory alive. Maybe now that I haven’t gotta look out for Lennie I could find a girl and settle down somewhere and live easy like when I was younger. I would have to roll up a big stake first and I getta along with some of the ranch workers here in Soledad. Might stick around awhile just till I’ve got enough money then I’m gonna push off and make a name for myself in this cruel mean world, and start trying to live my life
December 8, 2014 at 12:44 pm
Word Count: 525
Comments: This is an example of a stream of consciousness style of writing. The candidate has borrowed some clever ideas for how to adopt the voice of the character from the text. There is also a great deal of introspection and self questioning which makes it believable.
Problems exist because the candidate has obviously written it quite quickly. As such the writing is a bit jumbled and needs to be carefully shaped in order to make it read better. Paragraphs and sentences need to be enforced on things, and the candidate should remember that each topic entails a new paragraphs in and of itself. The entire first part comprises about 4 paragraphs!
Some areas to work on include repetition, as sometimes it seems as if the same words are popping up repeatedly. There are also some aspects of the work which seem directionless, as if you are just trying to fill space.
Provisional Mark: 26/40